So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this just has baby written all over it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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