margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
