Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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