Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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