We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
