my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
