I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
