Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
