Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
