I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
