Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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