so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
