im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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