ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
