dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
