forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
