even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
