through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
