I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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