I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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