so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
