y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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