she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
