There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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