Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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