What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
