So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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