dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
