Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
