Your face is a jimmy john
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
