the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
