my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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