she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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