Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
