cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize