So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
