Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
