I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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