I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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