wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
