oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
