One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
