I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
