you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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