Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
