I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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