i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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