a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize