if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
