thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
