So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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