She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
