I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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