i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
