my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
