My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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