Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
