Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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