you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
false alarm, still single
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