I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
