Swine flu. Run for my life!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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