it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She announced her abortion via fbk
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
