Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
