the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
